I Dream of Pine Trees

i dream of
pine trees
and sea salt

bruised knees
in the grass

i dream of
campfires
and

listening
to summer rain

i dream of
moonlight
and stardust

i still hear
my mother’s
favourite song
echoing
in dusty
corners
of my mind

i came here
to build a home
with you
i say
from the abandoned
bones of my ancestors
i say

and i know you will stay
because you are
not the kind of man
that runs away
from love
and i kiss you
with one hand on your chest
and the other on your cheek

you taste of pine trees
and sea salt
and i still hear
my mother’s favourite
song
echo
in my head

I love You, a Thousand Times.

Leaving your house
after the weekend
always feels a bit
like dying

until it’s done.

I have my routine now.
I hoover the rug
my dog shat on
at our first date
because you always
do the cooking.

I wash the bed linen
because the stains of our
love making
bite the fabric.

I smoke one last cigarette
that you left for me because
you know I suck at quitting.

I write you a poem
and leave it on your bed.
And when there are no words
that rhyme or have rhythm
I simply write

I love you
I love you
I love you

a thousand times.

Churri

you look at me
and i look at the lines
next to your eyes
as the sun
goes down
behind tall buildings
and sleepy homes
tonight

deep purple oranges
blue and black rays
mixed
with hungry
street lights

the church bell tolls
a cigarette burns
next to
a half emptied
bottle of wine

you hover over me
with that look
on your face

and in that moment
i realise

there is
nowhere
left
to hide

Saturday Night

he has the eyes
of a puppy dog
and knows
how to use them

dark chest hair
above the collar
of his shirt
turns me on
like a house
on fire

i watched you dance

his arms
are around my hips
when lightning
makes its way
across a darkened sky
the red neon letters
of a nearby hotel
standing tall
and bloody
in the night

i watched you smoke

it is difficult
to meet someone
she says

his best friend
with the long
brown hair
lights another
cigarette

i saw you smile

he is talking
to his friend
on the other side
of the balcony
but his eyes
return to me
every single time

i watched you drink

his hand is in mine
my face on his chest
as we slowly move
our tired bodies
to imaginary music
and i wonder if this
is what i had been
looking for
when i really already
know the answer

When I say ‘I love you’

when i say
i love you
i mean
i love the way
you rest your head
on my legs
in the park
and
i love the way
your eyes go soft
when you look at me
after we made love
and
i love the way
your fingers
on my spine make
my toes tingle
and
i see the little things
you do even though
you think i don’t notice
and
i love that you
figured out that netflix plot twist
a couple of seconds
before i did
and
i love that you take time off work
to wait for me to come home
and
i love the way you talk
about your mother
and
i love the way you smile
when you are with friends

this is what i mean
when i say
those three words

For C.

i listen to the birds
and clattering
of forks and knives
people eating
in the gardens

the wind has torn
a piece of the flag
on the square building
in the distance

we can be silent together
but when we talk
we talk about things
that matter
high paced
and animated
because we could be
dead tomorrow

and we wonder
about time
and we know
it is all relative
and i really like
the way your
mouth curves
when you smile

Dying Pixel Dust

i erase your existence
from my phone
by clicking
the trash icon
on each individual
image we took
not building a life
together
but memories
all the same

years worth
of history
destroyed
in seconds

i kiss
no one

look at
no one

love
no one

suffer for
no one

as i rewrite
my story

this time
i am
the leading lady
i always was
without you

as i watch
your smile
reduced
to dying
pixel
dust